Elsa Riley


On Sex Clubs: Killing Kittens in London

March 15th, 2023

An example of the mask you have to wear at KK events. As an independent escort, it shouldn't come as a surprise that I have an incredible bank of memories. One such experience was going to Killing Kittens, the infamous sex club in London, for the first time. I had been gushing about it to a wonderful regular, and he was hooked on the idea. Said and done, I handled our application and acquired the masks that everyone is required to wear at KK events. Hiding your identity (or at least attempting to do so) is a big thing, because if you happen to bump into a work colleague, then at least you can claim plausible deniability. Think Eyes Wide Shut, just more people (and sans creepy rituals). Killiing Kittens is fun that way - for example, a credible source let me know that a very famous actor got it on with a girl at one of these events, during which he took off his mask in the middle of the act, to her astonishment (and I assume delight). Now that’s hot. I would be lying if I said this had been my first experience of exhibitionism and sex clubs: gods, no! I went to my first one at the tender age of 22, although that venue was much more intimate. I had been to similar events in NYC and Paris. But nothing could have quite prepared me for the experience that is Killing Kittens. The evening started off at a luxuriously decorated bar where we had pre-drinks with a number of other attendees. The atmosphere was magical: you felt like a school child who was about to do something really naughty, and the other adults (the guests and bartenders) were none the wiser. A few hours later and ever-so slightly inebriated, we all walked the short distance to the event. The entrance to the venue had a large red carpet and two imposing-looking doormen in black suits. There was no sign anywhere, only a large iron door which hid red velvet curtains. Once let inside, the process was smooth, and we were gracefully offered a glass of Prosecco. We enjoyed a three-course dinner while watching beautiful performances from world-class burlesque artists and exotic dancers. The final number featured a gorgeous woman dressed as Eve, who danced together with an enormous live snake. I remember squeezing my date’s thigh beneath the table whenever the performers did something exceptionally impressive, our anticipation for later building and building. During dinner, my date and I had been stealing glances from other attendees across the room and my heart was pounding with the excitement of who we might end up playing with later on. Fantasy merged with desire, and we were both so ready to get going. Group sex is one of those hedonistic fantasies that can never quite compare to the thrill of actually being there. Finally, the show finished, the bars were starting to get crowded, and we set about exploring. Events like these make me giddy with excitement because it makes you feel like an erotic version of Indiana Jones for a brief moment: “Where is the bar? Oh, that’s a super cute couple. Dang, is that girl getting eaten out by two guys?!” The ambience was nothing short of electric. While waiting for our turn to order at the bar, we ended up talking to a gorgeous couple in their late 20s or early 30s. Funnily enough, the girl turned out to be from the same town where I had been born. As once-innocent small-town girls who moved to a large city and sought out naughty, hedonistic experiences, we instantly bonded with each other. A few drinks later, it was on. My memory of the four of us is a blur of tongues, hands, kisses, clothes being pulled off, and a sense of reckless abandon and utter bliss. I will stop there, before this text devolves into a soft-core porno (which I am a bit reluctant to write, as my talents lie in the art of fucking rather than writing erotic novels). As an escort that cherishes long-standing relationships with clients, booking a duo (or threesomes, or moresomes!) really puts a spin on things, and allows you to relate to each other in a completely new way... and I firmly believe life is far too short to deny yourself the pleasure.


Favorite spots in London

March 13th, 2023

This carefully curated list is the result of years of exploring everything that London has to offer. From cozy, intimate restaurants to fine dining to tucked-away speakeasy bars; below you will find all. At the end there's a number of places I have yet to try - perhaps with you? Favorites Hotels Chiltern Firehouse Corinthia The Connaught Rosewood Mandarin Oriental Four Seasons Shangri-La Bulgari Hotel Hotel Café Royal Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons (1 hour from London) Cliveden House (1 hour from London) Restaurants Number or * denotes Michelin stars. Ginza St James’s (Japanese) Frog by Adam Handling (Modern) * Bob Bob Ricard (British) CUT at 45 Park Lane (Meats and Grills) Helene Darroze (Modern French) *** Le Gavroche (French) ** Chiltern Firehouse restaurant (Modern) Restaurant Gordon Ramsay (French) *** Wiltons restaurant (Seafood) Estiatorio Milos (Greek, Seafood) Launceston Place (French) The Araki (Japanese) Kerridge’s Bar & Grill (Modern British) Latymer at Pennyhill Park Hotel (1 hour from London, seriously deserving of two stars) Bars Nightjar (cocktails and live jazz) Swift Soho (cocktails) Opium (speakeasy) The Connaught Bar Scarfes bar Eve Bar (the *best* Manhattan) Satan’s Whiskers (cocktails) Bar With Shapes for a Name (cocktails) Found (cocktails) Disrepute (cocktails)   Live music, musicals & plays Ronnie Scott’s Trisha’s Scarfes bar (live music every night) Jazzlive at The Crypt Phantom of the Opera Cirque du Soleil The Book of Mormon Anything Shakespeare, or classic American play   Spa & relaxation AIRE Ancient Baths The Bulgari Spa ESPA Life at Corinthia The Spa at the Mandarin Oriental Akasha Spa at Hotel Café Royal Want to try   Restaurants A. Wong (Chinese) ** Sketch (The Lecture Room & Library) (Modern French) *** Umu (Japanese) * Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester (French) *** Pétrus by Gordon Ramsay (French) * CORE by Clare Smyth (Modern British) *** Evelyn’s Table (French/Japanese) * Murano (North Italian) * Roji (Japanese Omakase) Roketsu (Japanese Kaiseki) Sollip (International, Korean) * Kol (Mexican) * La Dame de Pic London (Modern French) ** Kitchen W8 (Modern) * The Fat Duck (Creative) *** (1 hour from London)   Bars Viajante 87 (cocktails) Oriole (speakeasy) Gordon’s Wine Bar (wine) Nine Lives (cocktails) The Thin White Duke (cocktails) The White Horse (wine) Below (cocktails) Plays & musicals Dance of Death (16 - 31 March) Phaedra (until 8 April) Medea (11 February – 22 April) The Lehman Trilogy (24 January – 20 May) Macbeth (21 July – 28 October) Witness for the Prosecution (until 28 April 2024) Les Miserables The Rocky Horror Show   Live music events Elton John (2, 4, 5, 8, 9, 12, 13, 16, 17 April, 30 May) November Ultra (17 April) Sam Smith (19 April) Duran Duran (1, 2 May) Avril Lavigne (7, 9, 10 May) Beyoncé (29, 30 May, 1, 3, 4 June) Kool & The Gang (1 June) José González (9, 10 June) Wu-Tang Clan & Nas (13 June) Hans Zimmer (14, 15 June) Depeche Mode (17 June) Chris Isaak (29 June) Bruce Springsteen (6 July) The Weeknd (7, 8 July) The Weeknd and Kaytranada (18 August) Shania Twain (16, 17 September) The National (26, 27 September) Madonna (14, 15 October) Ane Brun (14 October)



March 10th, 2023

While gifts are never expected, they are always appreciated. And I promise to spoil you in return :) Please email [email protected] for an unlisted email address to which you can send electronic gift cards. Note that you must be pre-screened or an existing friend. Gift cards sent to the above email will remain unused. Electronic Gift Cards Amazon UK (not US!) Harrods (up to £5000) Harvey Nichols (up to £2500) Selfridges (up to £1000) Treatwell Therapie Clinic Uber UK Technology Macbook Pro 14-inch (most wanted!) Apple Gift Cards iPhone 14 Pro Max in Silver Apparel ACNE leather shearling jacket (size 36) Oresund Iris, Night Out Dress in Ivory (size XS) Bags Hermès Kelly 25 Black Epsom Sellier Bag Gold Hardware Jewelry & Watches Cartier, Tank Française watch in yellow gold Cartier, Juste un Clou bracelet, in yellow gold and/or white gold Courses Cordon Bleu: Cuisine Technique Essentials, New World vs Old World Masterclass (wine) Spa AIRE Ancient Baths ESPA Life at the Corinthia